bladeascent | Sticks & Bones // IC Inbox

You weren't imposing.

[Just. Baseline, putting that out there. No, he doesn't like to be around Sadness and in general being around sad people makes him feel a little awkward. This is a man that runs from depression even if it's completely warranted. Compartmentalizes, all that. But.

Not for Ras. Never for Ras.]

And I'd look much cooler with a title like "God of Comedy", right? I could even have a nametag. [He laughs, one hand still around Ras as they kind of, sort of part.] I think that gives me more divine power than being just a jester. Maybe I can make the Archdemon laugh to death.

[ He should apologize to Vildred specifically, for a lot of things he's done. It's funny, Ras has done so little for him in turn for everything he's done for Ras in them. Even now. There is no amount of time he has with Vildred that he can do to make up for it, either.

But he's so happy he's here, anyway. ]

Perhaps. We can start calling him "Anglaugh the Archdemon", in that case, hm? [ His eyes are still a bit puffy, but they're not watery anymore. ] I know Diche would at least be pleased to have you among the deities.

When all's said and done and I get to ask Diche if she thinks I'm cool enough to join the rank and file of the heavens, [dork,] do you think you can stay awake this time? Experience life the way humans live it?

[Still holding him as he asks this, just, btw.]

There's a ton of stuff you haven't gotten to see yet that I want to show you.

[ This... this takes Ras very aback, actually. His mouth opens to say something, but he finds himself at a total loss for words. The gears are turning, but... ]

Wh... what? [ He heard Vildred. He did. He's just... confused. He hadn't... considered that to even be an option, actually. This is like someone putting an "O" on the back of the paper instead of inside the grid of Tic-Tac-Toe. ]

...I don't... I will not be needed after...

I know that. But if the Archdemon is dead, doesn't that mean you sleep forever? That means I wouldn't get to see you again.

[Frowns... KICKS that thought to the side like a football. We are not being sad right now, he tells himself, but he grips Ras a little tighter unconsciously anyway.]

If you won't be needed in terms of saving the world, maybe there's something else you can do? An excuse to give to Diche, like helping with world peace or something. That'll take way longer than defeating the Archdemon will, trust me.

[Is it greedy that... he wants to keep Ras at his side?]

[ Ras glances to the arm Vildred has around him, then back to Vildred himself. That's right. The world spends more time without him than he realizes. How cruel of him to not think about what happens after the war. All he's thought about is that when he goes to sleep, when he wakes again, he won't see the same faces ever again. Except Vildred. But that won't be the case when he finally wins, will it? He will just sleep until Orbis is in danger again.

That really isn't fair, is it? ]

I... [ Pause. He isn't sure how to answer this at all, actually. ] I have not thought about that. But I... need to sleep to conserve that energy expended in the war. Otherwise, if I were to stay awake... The only way I could think to do that, would be to give up my divinity. But... that comes with so many consequences. I would have a lifespan. I would not be powerful. I would... I would essentially be expressing to the Heart of Orbis that it will be on its own.

...

You haven't known me that long. [ Ras has known him for far longer, and thinking about waking up without him in the future is ruining him a little. He's also trying to kick that to the side like a football. ] You would go back to your life. It would be normal again.

But I'd miss you.

[He blurts, before he can think better of it. And then part of him feels the need to backpedal, like he said something weird and unhinged, because yeah... it's been a few months. It's been a few long months, granted, but that span of time is nothing in the grand scheme of things. A month is like... the bartender at your favourite tavern quits and is replaced by someone else, before being replaced by someone else, and then someone else. A month is enough time to lose soldiers you barely know in war. Two months is half of a semester at a nice university, where your upperclassmen graduate and you never see them again. Three months is enough time to get to know a neighbour who moves out and you forget their name.

But in that same vein, it's also enough time to get to know someone, to know that they're lying to you and they're still probably lying to you, and to want them to let you in so you can fix whatever has them thinking you can't be trusted with that information in the first place.

A few months is both the most insignificant and most significant chunk of a human's lifespan.

He should probably backpedal. He does not.]

I know a few months isn't much to you. You're, what, thousands of years old? As old as Orbis itself? But for humans, we don't live that long. If I'm lucky, I'll die in my seventies. If I'm unlucky, well, I'll die young in battle. [Turns out, that's what his prior five lives did, and what he was three seconds from in the sixth... not that he knows any of that.] It means that every day is precious to me. It would be impossible for me to not think of you every day and wish for you to wake up again if you went comatose after the war ended.

You don't have to give up your divinity, but maybe you can buy, what, forty or fifty more years? Long enough for us to take a vacation and get into non world-ending trouble after everything's over. I wouldn't have an opinion on how long you stayed awake for after I'm dead anyway.

...A vacation, huh? Do you think you could settle down long enough for one of those?

[ Haha.

This is Ras' attempt to lighten the mood, like Vildred does. He's not as good at it as he is, though. ]

[ But in all seriousness, Ras unwraps his arms from around him and gently tries to get Vildred to do the same, so that he may hold Vildred's hands between his own tightly, in what he hopes is a reassuring, warm, inviting sort of way. ]

If I'm being quite honest, Vildred, since I've been asleep for most of my life, knowing you is most of my memories, regardless of my actual age. It would be selfish of me to not want to go through the pain. It is selfish of me if I had to make you go through it, either.

...But Diche is nothing if not merciful. After the war, she may have a solution I'm not currently thinking of. So... for now, we take this one step at a time, okay?

[He's having a whole moment in his head about maybe being a little Too Sad again and whoops, no that's fine he's just going to, uh, take all those emotions and throw them into the fire where they belong—

He squeezes Ras' hands in his and forces a smile.]

You mean there's a chance I get stuck with you for eternity when she definitely makes me into a God? Your loss.

[The therapy here is free, Vildred, you should probably utilize it.]

I'm great at settling down. Probably. I haven't tried yet, but I could. You'll just have to come with me, I'm afraid.

[ Ras is still thinking about this, too. But more logistically than focusing on the upsetting bits. Because, well, he hasn’t really thought about this yet. He has been so focused on the timeline resets and defeating the Archdemon, that he didn’t even consider an aftermath. In fact, the only times he had was when everyone he cared about died. That was the only aftermath he considered.

He continues to hold Vildred’s hands, cracking a little smile that soon falls to a bit of embarrassed shyness. ]

…Hypothetically, [ Ras never speaks in hypotheticals, so you know he’s genuinely rolling all the outcomes in his brain. ] …if I did give up my divinity, would you… teach me how to be human?

As if I haven't been this whole time?

[He laughs softly, a real one this time. There goes the sadness! Bye sadness! He hopes you never show your ugly fucking face around here ever again—]

I'll even teach you about the fun stuff, [he starts,] like taxes and grocery shopping.

Haha... I assume I will have to learn about that stuff, yeah. And have to actually eat, too...

...

Do you think the food is done now?

For someone who doesn't have to eat, you sure are gung-ho about it. It needs to simmer for a few more hours, it's a stew. We can head back inside, if you want.

[Or they can sit out here and look at the view and try to throw away their feelings, that also works.]

I do believe you are mistaking me for a certain blue cotton ball.

Regardless, I am alright out here. I did not mean to bring the conversation down like that. I am... glad that there is something nice to look at here. It was a bit exhausting looking at greys and reds.

You didn't. Besides, it needed to be said anyway.

[And they are. STILL holding hands. Good god you two.]

We've got big plans for when we get back. [Haha. Hahahahaha. "If", you mean.] I should probably teach you to read before I go to Diche and ask for a big favour. Gotta cash in the good karma and all.

[He can already hear it... Krau saying "Vildred you can't say that it's blasphemous"...]

While I do want to learn to read, I can promise you that you've already built up enough of that~ [ Over the many many many months they've spent together. For Vildred it might only be 6 or so. For Ras, it's been actual years.

Also yeah no he's not pulling his hands away. ]

[Good, they can stand out on the balcony and look out over the landscape and hold hands. Very platonic, good job boys.]

I'm glad your mom thinks I'm cool.

[And then he fucking laughs at his own joke. God. Insufferable, push him off the balcony.]

[ …Snrk. ]

You are silly. [ He will bonk Vildred here with his head — his own way for playful nudging. ]

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