bladeascent | Sticks & Bones // IC Inbox

I brought up being able to shift forms. It is something that, theoretically, I can do. But it is not something I have done. When you spoke about it before, I was... uncertain, I suppose. But I know it was not familiar to me at all. If I am being honest, it startled me a lot. I was not sure how to bring it up to you.

[ Ras also moves himself to the edge of the bed and takes a seat. He is not looking at Vildred, nervously trying to find his own thoughts and carefully pick words that are not Technically Lies. ]

I do not think it is something I can forget. I remember all our time together, after all.

[Vildred knows that Ras has a big vocabulary and tends to be wordy sometimes, but he has to wonder why now he chooses to speak in tongues. Or maybe he isn't at all, and Vildred is just confused and lost the plot somewhere. Things aren't lining up, though, holes in the story where the pages overlap.]

I don't understand. You remember our time together, but don't remember having that other form? We met when your hair was short.

[ Ras shakes his head. ] Because I believe that... for me, it never happened. Not like that.

[ He figured Vildred wouldn't take this well, but Ras is struggling to try and explain things. As per the usual, really. ]

You were there when I awoke. We did not talk at first, as you were accompanying the knights. But I was later introduced to you through an Heir who wielded gloves forged by Malicus. Do you recall an Aki?

..."Aki"? No, the name isn't familiar, and that's not how we met either.

[Vildred sighs, then turns toward Ras, one leg up on the bed and crossed over his knee at the ankle. The other foot is on the floor, and his hands fold in his lap, concern etched on his features.]

Ras, what are you talking about?

I... apologize. [ He nervously kneads his fingers through the fox's fur. Tina looks unbothered by most of this. Her dads are fighting but how is that Her problem?? ] I am not explaining this well.

[ He's also not sure he wants to keep walking on eggshells like this. Vildred doesn't seem... mad. Just... confused. Concerned. Not mad.

Maybe this is okay, then? ]

So... Orbis... the one we know, it is not the first Orbis. I have tried to save... I have failed to save Orbis a few times. In my failures, Goddess Diche has twisted time in such a way that I could have another chance. [ He frowns. ] I can remember all of my chances, but the one you describe - the one you are from does not sound familiar to me. I believe, in that case, I am from a previous chance, and you, a future one. Which means... I am a Ras from an Orbis I failed, and not from the one this you is.

[Well, that's the emotional equivalent of getting run over by a caravan, isn't it?

Vildred is silent for a while as he tries to piece things together, puzzling it out in his head. Ras is still being vague, unhelpful as that is, but he thinks he can understand the pieces that are missing from the greater puzzle. Still, to make sure they're on the same page, after a moment passes, he recites the thoughts going through his brain aloud.]

...so, in some other versions of Orbis, the Archdemon wins, and everything is destroyed. Diche gives you — gives all of us — another chance to get it right, returning the world to... what, before it was destroyed, right? Which means we've met before. [And Ras... did he ever try to tell him? Wait—] You were— before we went to fight the Archdemon, you were being vague, acting like you knew me previously. You kept saying you'd tell me later, and not to worry about it, that we'd win the war first and you'd explain everything then. We got into an argument the second time it came up. I was angry with you for not being honest with me, and you shut me down and told me you couldn't talk about it. Kise and Ruelle had to pull me aside to assure me that they'd help convince you, and I went into battle with Kayron feeling this empty sort of pit in my stomach. I was convinced you weren't ever going to talk, and then I woke up here, bleeding from what's now this scar over my face.

I get that you're saying I'm from a reset ahead of you, but... do you think that was what you were going to tell me? About Orbis, and the Archdemon's victories, and Diche resetting everything back to zero?

[That can't be right, can it? Did he...

Did he die? In all of those? He must have, right?]

[ Ras was expecting questions. He was expecting Vildred to be confused. However, what ran in line with his expectations were things along the lines of "What do you mean?" or "I thought you weren't supposed to lose?" or "How could you have failed multiple times?" or "How can the world be reset?" or any number of other things that seemed to not quite grasp the situation. But he does. Ras did not expect this.

He looks up at Vildred finally for just a moment, then looks away to the nearby wall instead. His hands stop moving, so the bored Tina hopes from his lap to meander away. ]

...I suppose that is unsurprising. It is something that weighed on me for a while. The fact he hinted it to you at all... Is this why you seemed upset with me when we met here? [ Maybe that's not important right now. ] I cannot answer that, unfortunately. If I had to hazard a guess, however, I would say yes. But in every world, I feared telling you. I got the feeling from you that you would... understand, but... [ He purses his lips for just a moment before he speaks again. ] Did you tell your Ras that you would die if it meant protecting him, too?

[Grasping the concept is the easy part. Coming to grips with repeated failures, resets, and Ras knowing him when he barely knows Ras... That's a whole other story. He wonders if something about him changed along the way. If maybe, a timeline or two ago, he wasn't quite so overprotective over him, or if it was an overprotectiveness necessitated by the line of duty and that was that. Nowadays, he knows better than to think his protective, almost possessive feelings over Ras are merely because Ras is important to Orbis.

Ras is important to Vildred, plain and simple. His grand attempts at saving the world cannot be understated, his importance to Orbis underlined in ink and circled in red, and Vildred would therefore do anything to keep Ras alive out of necessity — save Orbis by saving the man meant to save it. But somewhere along the lines, it became less chivalrous and more greedy. Of course he wants to protect Ras with his life; Ras is at least half the reason he bothers to draw air into his own lungs.

Vildred wonders, then, if that protective instinct imprinted onto his very soul at some point. If the reason he's compelled to cling to him, touch him, stay too close, guide him... is because they've shared a history Vildred lost to various deaths, but the fabric of the universe itself wouldn't let his core being forget.

It's a lot to think about. Suddenly his throat feels dry, and he swallows thickly, pursing his lips and nodding.]

I may have... on several occasions, yes. And I stand by what I said, even though I know it makes you — him? — upset.

[ ...It is too late to take any of this back now, even if his mind now reverberates with a concern that threatens to drown him. On the one hand, he's right. This was freeing from that guilt that's been shackled to him. However, the other hand now holds a desperation to get things back to the status quo. He's held this in him for so long, why now? He just needed to wait until after the Archdemon War ended. That was what he kept telling himself. He just needed to not fail.

Why could he not do even this much?

The light in Ras' chest dims as he feels a new weight against him. He loves Vildred, and he can only imagine after he's pondered on this for a while, he isn't going to be happy with Ras. He should've kept quiet. He should've just convinced them that they're in a similar situation to Ain and that white haired Elsword. He should've... he should've... ]

...If I do not change much from how I am now, to the Ras you know, than that scares him. Losing you frightens him more than failing Orbis. I've never told you, in any of the worlds. Because I was disappointed in myself, but beyond that, because... I feared you trying to take the place of one of the Heirs self-sacrificially if you had learned... [ His voice cracks a moment, making him pause as his hands ball into fists against his thighs, trying to recollect himself. This only partially works, as his voice wobbles slightly as he continues. ] ...if you had learned that Diche cannot bring the Heirs to the new world.

[He so confidently wants to declare that, if he were an Heir, he would get it right. There would be no sacrifice, because they obviously would have won the war. ...sadly, Vildred knows better now than to expect that of himself — if they had failed in several other timelines, it wouldn't matter if he was made an Heir or not. It would just...

Be.

In the same way Vildred doesn't see much of a point to living without Ras, Ras quite clearly sees the same for him. It's as touching as it is damning. If only one of them dies, what does the other do? He would rather it be himself, but like his fierce need to protect Ras beyond the obvious, that's a thought laced with greed as well.

Vildred takes a breath, scoots across the thin gap of mattress separating them, and places a hand on Ras' head — as Ras may remember he did several timelines ago, and Vildred... doesn't remember at all. He wiggles the other man's skull around playfully, trying and failing in spectacular fashion to break the tension.]

C'mon, you know I would've listened if you'd just told me "no" and given a reason why.

[But his hand drops here. If they fail their current timeline, it means Rinak doesn't come back, and... Well. Either way, in Vildred's mind, she was never coming back to begin with. The dead don't do that. A second chance, third, fourth, is nice on the tin — but when you don't know you have it, death carries a certain finality. This discussion definitely wouldn't have helped Robin feel any better. It definitely wouldn't have stopped Victorika from pacting with Ziegfried. It's just... death. Death is death.

And it isn't as though Vildred has memories of his.]

...I might have tried, yeah. Knowing me. It's starting to sound like I'm not that different from the "me" that you knew. Have I really been the same person in every timeline?

Did we meet in all of them?

[ The touch, at least, gets Ras to pick his head up. And then he's... rattled?

Hey-

Ras lets out a simple "uh" until he stops, the faintest hint of red on his cheeks. That could be attributed to the fact that his eyes look suspiciously glassy, though... ]

...There are some differences, but your personality has mostly remained the same.

And... yes. I... You were the first human to... treat me as you do. As something that is neither the cause or the absolution to the problems that befell them. [ He fidgets. Even now, even with such a revealing secret, he's still treating Ras so kindly. He has no reason to, either. It isn't like this Ras is his. ] When I learned that is how I was perceived, I had distanced myself, as to not hurt anyone. To only fight, and disregard humans. But it made me wonder... why I was doing this. I wondered if I truly loved humans, or if I did simply because I embodied Diche's will.

It was... a fairly dark time.

...

But then I met you. And you helped me realize that... I do love humans. And... so I had to make sure you stayed with me, lest I lose sight of myself again.

Edited 2025-10-30 07:47 (UTC)

Fair warning for future you, then: I'm probably the reason you learned to be so mouthy.

[Or Krau. It could've been both of them. Maybe a bit of the girls' mafia roleplay...

He sees that Ras is, if not crying, on the verge of it. Vildred carefully rubs circles into his back, trying to comfort him. Brave as ever, to charge into the unknown with his head held high, even though he still has so many questions. All of them are morbid, and all of them can be asked later. It wouldn't be right to start digging into how he died and how the timelines failed and how Diche's magic even works when they'd only just touched on the topic of there being multiple timelines in the first place.

Still...]

I swore I'd protect you, apparently in every timeline we've shared. Of course I'm staying with you. There isn't much point in seeing Orbis without you. When we win, and we will win this time, [whatever happened to not making lofty promises, Vildred?] I'll show you the world you got to save. And if I have to take a few hits for you along the way, I promise they won't be lethal.

[That is not comforting, boy.]

But if you've been the same throughout all of this, I'd say you're still "my" Ras. If nothing else, you're definitely mine now that we're sharing this timeline together, and... If I haven't really changed much, I'm still technically yours, too. I'm just a few steps ahead for once.

[ Unfortunately, Vildred, even if you physically comfort Ras, you cannot expect him to keep it together when you go and say that. He was honestly expecting Vildred to sigh heavily and say he doesn't want to deal with something so serious, or get upset and tell Ras he needs some alone time to think, or... anything other than just kindness and affection. Perhaps it's stupid of him to have not. Kind and affectionate is what Vildred always is with him, after all.

He does not cry, in the sense that no sounds are made, but there are tears that slip from the corners of his eyes. After a moment or two or trying to think of something to say... instead, Ras just leans forward to take Vildred in for a hug. ]

[Poor Ras. Vildred is, of course, receptive to this. He wraps his arms around Ras' much smaller frame and holds him gently, laying his cheek atop the Covenant's head, rubbing his back slowly. Even if they're from other timelines, it doesn't matter, not really. This is still Ras, and apparently, Vildred is still Vildred. All the questions swimming around in the back of his skull are unimportant.

He sways side to side, mimicking the way his mother would rock him when he was tiny and having a fit about something. He wonders if that sort of thing helps or not.]

Hey... everything will be fine, okay?

[There's a lot more to figure out along the way to make it so — questions hanging in suspense, tasks idle, ways to get home not yet found, but... Vildred still feels confident making that promise anyway.]

[ It won’t be. Ras had a feeling that Vildred being Not His meant he’d fail his Orbis again, but… he’s already grappled with that before. It isn’t okay.

However, he won’t turn away Vildred’s comfort. He just lies his head on Vildred’s shoulder with a tiny nod, holding him tightly, as if he might disappear otherwise. ]

Okay. [ … ] Can I still stay here with you tonight? [ Man who fully expected to be kicked out like: ]

What, you thought I'd take over our room? Ras, you live here.

[So yes he can stay,]

You're not getting rid of me that easily. Tragically, I'm making you spend another timeline with me and my really good jokes.

[ Fantastic news, because Ras doesn't want to let go of Vildred now. He did not think this would affect him so much...? He is usually not the sort of person to get overly emotional.

But maybe it truly is because he cares so much about Vildred...?

...

Vildred may have to pry Ras off. ]

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